I hate people who lie....

Why? Because my Father lied, constantly, about everything. He wasn't happy with his life, (i.e. being a family man) so he had to make it more interesting. Had to find new people to wow for a few weeks until they figured out he was full of shit. It's THE reason I distrust most people. Why? I just assume they will be like my Dad. If I meet someone who tells stories a lot, and tries to impress people I automatically assume they are lying. It reminds me of my Father so much, I don't really care to be around it.

Now, I'm not saying everyone lies, nor do I think things like telling someone they look nice (when in fact you think it looks like curtains) is bad. That's not exactly the best thing in the world, if they were your friend I would HOPE you would tell them exactly what you think. But sometimes you meet people and "little white lies" fall out. It happens, I can deal with that. I'm talking about ridiculous big ol' bullshit story lies. About making yourself more wonderful and glamorous. Accept who you are, it's not the end of the world to be mediocre.

I met someone a few months back, she was nice. And I still think she is nice, but she lied about lots of things. All I can assume is that she is unhappy. Really unhappy. And that is sad. I often found it amusing, little jabs she would take..."I'm a mom, but I don't have to act 60." I'm glad that you are under the impression I act 60 because I don't feel the need to shake my ass for random men, or get kicks out of still acting like I'm 17. See, I waited to have kids until I was done with behaving like a high school student. I'm 30, I have three kids and yes they ARE more important than my own personal wants. I want to do a lot of things in my life, but that shit is just going to have to wait, I have kids. I have a family. And I don't feel like destroying that for a couple of evenings of drunken fun. Apparently we don't land on the same page with that though....

Oh yeah, hey neighbor lady, if you don't like me, that's cool. I'm feeling the same way about you. Don't be fucking nice to my face and talk shit behind my back. Dig? You are fortunate that I'm NOT still 21, because I probably would have said something and made you cry. I KNOW your ass isn't happy, with the husband who can't keep it in his pants and all. And NEWS FLASH, if you think your children are perfect you are far from correct. At least I admit mine can be normal annoying children.


If you don't want to talk to my ass, then delete me. Don't give me this half assed "friends" bullshit. If you don't like something about me, speak up. Please. I'm not going to really give a shit. You do things your way, I'll do them mine. If you don't like it, move on to find some other Romper Room Mom, because that isn't me.

And I don't feel fine. Not at all. (Yes, that is a reference to an R.E.M. song)

I'm in a serious down swing of hate lately. I am not usually one for saying I hate things and/or people. But lately I have been feeling very hate-filled. I hate this deployment. I hate the Army right now as well. I don't hate my children, but they are seriously ticking me off. My neighbor is also on the shit list at the moment, and though my husband insists I should just speak to her, I am afraid if I do I will end up reverting to my old self and punch her in the teeth. Yes, there was a point that THAT was more likely the kind of response you would get from me. I thought I had left that behind, and it seems to be creeping back in slowly. Worrisome, yes.

I used to be pretty nice, have somewhat pleasent things to say, and lately I hear myself talk and everything sounds so negative. I'm not sure if it is the end of the deployment talking, or if I have lost it and have no more patience.

Oh yes, by the way, I'm an Army Wife, mother of three boys (NOW you know why I am nuts), and a jack of all trades, Master of none.