So I am currently cooking an Indian inspired dish, and my whole house smells like curry and tomatos. God I love that smell. It's something foreign, something exotic, and makes me forget about how much I like "American" things like ham sandwiches. Heh.

We finally made it out of Virginia, and it seems we got home on the perfect date, the bad weather is back and the last two days have been spent inside with the boys, I have been attempting to clean, and relax. I've read three books in the last 3 weeks, which has been lovely. I missed reading. The trip in Virginia was long and stressful, Christmas was already tighter than I would have liked this year-but being out of our own home made it worse. The children got so many things it's almost impossibly ridiculous. I can't believe that three small children have this much. I'm glad everyone loves them, but I am starting to consider telling people to save their money and put it toward something useful, college funds? Something....

I put away the Christmas decorations, and that was nice, the corner where the tree was is lit no more. I'm sure I'll find pine needles until we move, but for now it is out of sight-out of mind. I put Buddha back in his rightful place, and felt sort of bad for shoving him in the closet. Which sounds weird, but I felt like I was punishing him for Jesus' birthday.

We had Dane baptised and then received a message after our return about our commitment to the Church. I'll be quite frank, I have never been a large believer in the way Christianity is presented. It's not that I don't believe in God...but that I have no interest in becoming a typical Christian. I don't believe that gay people are going to hell, that people who don't believe in God are going to hell, people of other faiths are wrong, etc. In fact I would argue with a good portion of the Good book. I'm sort of irritated but so far have completely ignored said message. If I spoke how I feel about it, I am afraid I would offend certain people.....

Another thing, why oh why must the in-laws talk politics every time we come into view. The only reason they dislike Bush is because he sent their child in harms way, and I find that most hillarious. There is a certain someone who drove him to the recruiter 12 years ago, and it was one of the parental units. Ironic, eh?

So it's begining to look a lot like Christmas...hell, it was begining to look a lot like a Christmas sometime right after Halloween. What is wrong with waiting until a few days before Thanksgiving to start pushing the Christmas decorations like crack rock on the corner? Seriously, just a few days....

And about Christmas....Since they've decided to start selling early, by the time it's about three weeks out shit is gone. (I should probably shop all year like my Mother, but this would require a place to store everything).... This has made it a particularly difficult process in finding Benjamin appropriate gifts....Andrew and Dane are no problem. Ben is another story....I'm just thankful I don't have a girl and all of the rather ridiculous crap they market to them is not a worry for me....Bratz being my number one hated item at the moment(well actually, since they came out)...."Look Mom, I can dress like a slut and think that bling and fashion is more important that education and being taken seriously...." Ok, end rant on that crap....

It really boils down to me not being a huge fan of the season, I have my own personal reasons, it's an "ok" time frame. I wish it wasn't stressed as being so important though. I want my children to have a good Christmas, but it's hard to do that while being in my own little space, thinking about your own shit. I need to work past it and just deal, and eventually I will.....

I'm ready and waiting for 2007, and hoping that maybe it will be more fruitful for my family and I....No deployments will help. We're scheduled to move in May, but without paper orders I won't hold my breath. Sooner or later we will get the orders, and when we do I will figure things out from there. I need to get rid of some things, hell lots of things if we are moving. I have closets that have tons of junk in them. And I mean junk...nothing of importance, crap I have saved for the last six years because I can.

This week will end with us heading to Virginia, a short week out of our leave time. And when I get back I will look forward to some quiet family time at home. A whole 30 days to ourselves...a bonus to the Army career, one of the only things I can truly say is a plus. Not very many jobs give you that many days at a time, of course not many jobs require you to leave your family for a year either. I certainly don't think I could do it....

I deleted my Myspace today, and I feel better....free in fact....It's rather nice. I'm just tired of the Myspace addiction, the mindset of Myspace...you know what I am talking about, if you Myspace you do at least.

Thanksgiving this week, bought a turkey and the fixins, have enough liquor to warm the Army. I will be getting toasty on Thanksgiving, why? Because I can! And Matt will be here to help keep the boys in line. He invited some of his single soldier friends over, better than cooking for just us. LAN party in the living room. Woo hoo!

We went to see Happy Feet, and from the name you would think it was all cheery and wonderful, but in reality-it was depressing as hell. Of course that went right over the boys heads, but it's better that way.

I hate people who lie....

Why? Because my Father lied, constantly, about everything. He wasn't happy with his life, (i.e. being a family man) so he had to make it more interesting. Had to find new people to wow for a few weeks until they figured out he was full of shit. It's THE reason I distrust most people. Why? I just assume they will be like my Dad. If I meet someone who tells stories a lot, and tries to impress people I automatically assume they are lying. It reminds me of my Father so much, I don't really care to be around it.

Now, I'm not saying everyone lies, nor do I think things like telling someone they look nice (when in fact you think it looks like curtains) is bad. That's not exactly the best thing in the world, if they were your friend I would HOPE you would tell them exactly what you think. But sometimes you meet people and "little white lies" fall out. It happens, I can deal with that. I'm talking about ridiculous big ol' bullshit story lies. About making yourself more wonderful and glamorous. Accept who you are, it's not the end of the world to be mediocre.

I met someone a few months back, she was nice. And I still think she is nice, but she lied about lots of things. All I can assume is that she is unhappy. Really unhappy. And that is sad. I often found it amusing, little jabs she would take..."I'm a mom, but I don't have to act 60." I'm glad that you are under the impression I act 60 because I don't feel the need to shake my ass for random men, or get kicks out of still acting like I'm 17. See, I waited to have kids until I was done with behaving like a high school student. I'm 30, I have three kids and yes they ARE more important than my own personal wants. I want to do a lot of things in my life, but that shit is just going to have to wait, I have kids. I have a family. And I don't feel like destroying that for a couple of evenings of drunken fun. Apparently we don't land on the same page with that though....

Oh yeah, hey neighbor lady, if you don't like me, that's cool. I'm feeling the same way about you. Don't be fucking nice to my face and talk shit behind my back. Dig? You are fortunate that I'm NOT still 21, because I probably would have said something and made you cry. I KNOW your ass isn't happy, with the husband who can't keep it in his pants and all. And NEWS FLASH, if you think your children are perfect you are far from correct. At least I admit mine can be normal annoying children.


If you don't want to talk to my ass, then delete me. Don't give me this half assed "friends" bullshit. If you don't like something about me, speak up. Please. I'm not going to really give a shit. You do things your way, I'll do them mine. If you don't like it, move on to find some other Romper Room Mom, because that isn't me.

And I don't feel fine. Not at all. (Yes, that is a reference to an R.E.M. song)

I'm in a serious down swing of hate lately. I am not usually one for saying I hate things and/or people. But lately I have been feeling very hate-filled. I hate this deployment. I hate the Army right now as well. I don't hate my children, but they are seriously ticking me off. My neighbor is also on the shit list at the moment, and though my husband insists I should just speak to her, I am afraid if I do I will end up reverting to my old self and punch her in the teeth. Yes, there was a point that THAT was more likely the kind of response you would get from me. I thought I had left that behind, and it seems to be creeping back in slowly. Worrisome, yes.

I used to be pretty nice, have somewhat pleasent things to say, and lately I hear myself talk and everything sounds so negative. I'm not sure if it is the end of the deployment talking, or if I have lost it and have no more patience.

Oh yes, by the way, I'm an Army Wife, mother of three boys (NOW you know why I am nuts), and a jack of all trades, Master of none.