One, two, three, what are we fighting for?

Greetings and Salutations! I now have three BIG boys who are in school full time and a lot of time between vacuum jobs. My days have been spent doing laundry, doing dishes, and being sucked into depression from moving. Not sure why I was sad about it, I miss my friends for certain. And yes, Fayetteville was a bit of a change for me. (I see why they call it Fayettenam) Overall though, it has some very charming qualities. I love that the beach is so close. I love how lush and green it is here. Spring here is gorgeous if you can move past all of the pollen and watery eyes. But that did not stop me from becoming rather sad and frustrated with my life. Perhaps it had more to do with the idea that my boys are no longer small and don't really need me up their bums 24/7 and yet I can not find a job here to save my life. I even passed through a moment of complete and utter dislike for my husband and the way he did everything. But now, I don't think it was him I was really upset with. It is the Army. I am ready for retirement. I want to go HOME. However, he is not done yet. And I've put up with it for this long, I can hold on a little longer. I decided I might as well like where I am for now, because no amount of being sad and grumpy will change that.

See these boys? They are all mine, and it has been five years since I have blogged. I guess things got a little hectic? Actually, I know they did-deployments, scouting, moving houses, Rear D, life, it became very busy. I had almost forgotten about my blog completely until I was reading another friends and it asked me to comment logged in on mine!

So here we go, take two.

We are about two months out from our move to a new duty post. I am excited to move, we have been here so long. I am hoping the move improves Dane's allergies and asthma, plants here are a large problem for him-lets hope the pollen there is not. I am also simply excited to move to the South. I love the South, always have. Sweet tea (without people looking at you like you have twelve heads), big front porches, green grass, lots of trees. Close to Florida, near all sorts of beaches. I am thrilled beyond words!

The boys are all getting older, everyone is playing baseball this year, they had their first games yesterday and did really well for not really ever playing before! Have to work on Dane's getting upset about not catching the ball. He takes it very hard when it doesn't get hit to him. Boys! Sigh.

So, it's been quite some time since I last wrote. The boys are larger, busier and more loud than they were six months ago. One of them has to be making noise, or things just aren't right. With that said, tonight Ben took scissors to his hair. I should have realized something was going on, as they were all being quiet as mice. Kids do these things, right? But he looks awful, and there is nothing but a shaved head to fix it. You would think he learned it was a bad idea when Andrew did it. But no, he decided he wanted hair like Dad's and he went for the gusto. Straight to the top of his head. I don't even know what to do with it. We just sent him to bed, and will deal with it in the morning.

It's been busy lately, with Spring coming in, and now Summer-the boys have been even more active than before. We purchased a trampoline, best investment ever. After spending most of their day jumping on it, they knock out quickly. Now if the rain would stop coming, this could occur more often.

I have a lot of things I would like to gripe about, but since the person they are about is sitting no more than two feet from me, I shall refrain.

I got word today that a good friend was hurt in Iraq, I don't know details, just vague things that happened. Don't know how he is...just hope for his parents and siblings sake he is fine. Ugh. I had a dream that was similar which made me feel even more ugh. Yeah. Ugh.

Will post more later.

It's 2007, Happy New Year! I'm excited for the new year, I am going to attempt to change myself. A new me. Why? Because hell, why not? I need a new me. I'm not currently satisfied with this version of myself. And that is what a New Year are for!

New Duty Station to come, no more babies, a happier husband (albiet weirder), a better relationship, things are going pretty good. I've lost 15 pounds, 90 more to go to make myself happy. Did I mention I am done having children? And that is so, OK with me. I like my children, but I have discovered I am NOT a baby person, I like them when they are toddlers on....

Ahhhh, YAY for new beginnings.

So I am currently cooking an Indian inspired dish, and my whole house smells like curry and tomatos. God I love that smell. It's something foreign, something exotic, and makes me forget about how much I like "American" things like ham sandwiches. Heh.

We finally made it out of Virginia, and it seems we got home on the perfect date, the bad weather is back and the last two days have been spent inside with the boys, I have been attempting to clean, and relax. I've read three books in the last 3 weeks, which has been lovely. I missed reading. The trip in Virginia was long and stressful, Christmas was already tighter than I would have liked this year-but being out of our own home made it worse. The children got so many things it's almost impossibly ridiculous. I can't believe that three small children have this much. I'm glad everyone loves them, but I am starting to consider telling people to save their money and put it toward something useful, college funds? Something....

I put away the Christmas decorations, and that was nice, the corner where the tree was is lit no more. I'm sure I'll find pine needles until we move, but for now it is out of sight-out of mind. I put Buddha back in his rightful place, and felt sort of bad for shoving him in the closet. Which sounds weird, but I felt like I was punishing him for Jesus' birthday.

We had Dane baptised and then received a message after our return about our commitment to the Church. I'll be quite frank, I have never been a large believer in the way Christianity is presented. It's not that I don't believe in God...but that I have no interest in becoming a typical Christian. I don't believe that gay people are going to hell, that people who don't believe in God are going to hell, people of other faiths are wrong, etc. In fact I would argue with a good portion of the Good book. I'm sort of irritated but so far have completely ignored said message. If I spoke how I feel about it, I am afraid I would offend certain people.....

Another thing, why oh why must the in-laws talk politics every time we come into view. The only reason they dislike Bush is because he sent their child in harms way, and I find that most hillarious. There is a certain someone who drove him to the recruiter 12 years ago, and it was one of the parental units. Ironic, eh?

So it's begining to look a lot like Christmas...hell, it was begining to look a lot like a Christmas sometime right after Halloween. What is wrong with waiting until a few days before Thanksgiving to start pushing the Christmas decorations like crack rock on the corner? Seriously, just a few days....

And about Christmas....Since they've decided to start selling early, by the time it's about three weeks out shit is gone. (I should probably shop all year like my Mother, but this would require a place to store everything).... This has made it a particularly difficult process in finding Benjamin appropriate gifts....Andrew and Dane are no problem. Ben is another story....I'm just thankful I don't have a girl and all of the rather ridiculous crap they market to them is not a worry for me....Bratz being my number one hated item at the moment(well actually, since they came out)...."Look Mom, I can dress like a slut and think that bling and fashion is more important that education and being taken seriously...." Ok, end rant on that crap....

It really boils down to me not being a huge fan of the season, I have my own personal reasons, it's an "ok" time frame. I wish it wasn't stressed as being so important though. I want my children to have a good Christmas, but it's hard to do that while being in my own little space, thinking about your own shit. I need to work past it and just deal, and eventually I will.....

I'm ready and waiting for 2007, and hoping that maybe it will be more fruitful for my family and I....No deployments will help. We're scheduled to move in May, but without paper orders I won't hold my breath. Sooner or later we will get the orders, and when we do I will figure things out from there. I need to get rid of some things, hell lots of things if we are moving. I have closets that have tons of junk in them. And I mean junk...nothing of importance, crap I have saved for the last six years because I can.

This week will end with us heading to Virginia, a short week out of our leave time. And when I get back I will look forward to some quiet family time at home. A whole 30 days to ourselves...a bonus to the Army career, one of the only things I can truly say is a plus. Not very many jobs give you that many days at a time, of course not many jobs require you to leave your family for a year either. I certainly don't think I could do it....